Maria Ogneva and Gregarious Narain
November 20, 2010
How I Met Your Mother - his story
Your mom and I first met, randomly, at Yet-Another-TechKaraoke in New York City. I was in town, waiting to leave for either SF or New Delhi, and was catching up with my old band of buddies.
As you know, your mom is Russian and she likes to drink. Fortunately for her, I'm Guyanese and also like to drink. As a result, the first few times I met your mother - I didn't actually know who she was, what her name was, and certainly not that she would some day be your mom. I did know she was hot though.
On October 14, 2009 - several months later - I was in New Delhi doing some work and going through a terrible time (that's a whole different story kiddies). Since Delhi and New York are about 12 hours apart in time, I happened to be online at 3am when your mom came online (yes people had to "sign in" to the Internet then). She changed her Facebook (that was a social network back in our time) relationship status from "In a Relationship" to "Single". I saw this and immediately thought of something clever to say. Here's what I wrote her:
"well happy and sad to hear it, all at the same time!"
That one little update, which of course went right over your mom's head as a pass, was the beginning of a very long set of long distance exchanges through Facebook. We sent messages back and forth and poured our poor, bleeding hearts out to pretty much anonymous strangers. It was fate.
I returned back to New York a couple of weeks later and was very excited to see your mom. Of course, she still had no idea I liked her at this point (she is your mom). We had a great time hanging out for a few days, randomly, and always in a group. She even wore a slutty school girl uniform for Halloween but you'll have to ask her for those pictures.
A day later, I left for San Francisco again. Mom and I continued to chat though, sometimes on the phone but mostly online. You'd think mom knew dad liked her, but somehow between the Internet and Moscow, she still didn't completely get it. Sounds like mom, huh?
On November 4th, the most amazing thing happened. America elected it's first black president, Barack Obama. But that's not the amazing part - that's just a miracle. Mom was down visiting grandma and grandpa in Virginia - where they used to live before moving to San Francisco to be with you little rascals. She went out to grab a newspaper (we used to get the news on this thing called paper in those days) and as she picked up a copy for herself, she ended up picking one more up for you know who - ME!
Of course, Mom didn't quite know what this meant at the time. It wasn't for a full 4 more days before it all sunk in. On the night of November 8th, Mom was out drinking with her friends (remember that Russian thing) when I started getting a string of interesting text messages (these were short messages you typed on your phone - oh, nevermind). I wish I still had them, but basically they went all oogly and mom pretty much admitted that she was in like with me and didn't realize it until she bought that newspaper. There's some other juicy bits in there, but they've been censored to protect your innocent minds.
The next morning, on November 9th, as I waited for my flight to Thailand for the first vacation in 14 years, Mom and I chatted as she nursed her hangover. It was a strange little conversation but filled with shyness and optimism. We made plans to have our first date when I returned to NYC on November 24th, but I wrote her every day I was away.
And that, my little ones, is how I met your mother.