Choosing a Maid of Honor

Try not to lose sleep over who you should choose. It may sound cliché, but a true girlfriend will always understand if you pick someone else instead of her.

They say that breaking up is hard to do— well choosing a maid of honor can be just as hard to do, too. With all of the wedding plans you have to take care of as it is, choosing who will be your maid of honor may seem petty in comparison. Not to mention, your wedding isn’t all about your friends, it’s about you and your husband-to-be, right? Although it is a special title to bestow upon a good friend of yours, there are plenty of other things that need just as much if not more attention. If you have a lot of close girlfriends or especially two or three very close girlfriends, it can sometimes be surprising to see how many claws can come out when one finds out she wasn’t asked to be your “it” girl.

While most girlfriends don’t get catty and understand that you love them all the same even if you don’t pick them, the reality is feelings can still get hurt. Being asked to be someone’s maid of honor is more than just a silly “status” symbol. For many girls and for many brides, it is about a level of friendship, and a mutual understanding of that level of friendship. Let’s face it. Some of your girlfriends just automatically assume that they are your best. So something that should be simple can turn into something not-so-simple very quickly, and before you know it, one of your close friends may get their feelings hurt.

One of the best ways to avoid this and leave every bridesmaid feeling special is to choose your maid of honor based on longevity of the friendship. For some reason or another, girls seem to understand that when you pick your long-time childhood friend, you chose her because you’ve known her for like, ever. You can also select a distant family member or mentor to be your maid of honor. Basically anyone that may share a maternal-like role with you or who is like a sister to you can fill the shoes just fine, and you will feel good about not singling any of your girlfriends out. If you are equally close with all of your bridesmaids, they will certainly understand that you may have a specific bond with one that you do not with the other.

If however your bridesmaids are girls that are a combination of long-time companions and acquaintances, it may not be as comfortable to pick one out of the dozen. The bottom line is regardless of who you choose, if you find you have hurt a girl’s feelings, it’s okay to pull her aside and talk to her. Assure her of your friendship to give her a boost. If you find a girl is giving you a hard time or talking about it behind your back however, that is a different story. It may be time for her to realize that the wedding is about you and your husband and what makes you happy for your special day. You can’t please everyone, and you definitely shouldn’t have to worry about it. Most of your girls will understand, and for those who do not — oh well. Who needs the drama, right? Choose who is close to your heart, rest easy, and enjoy your big day!

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